Basics: the Upkeep Loop and the Landing Pattern

So, you set up your profile, and then you edited your profile for maximum effectiveness. Wait, you didn't? Well then go back and do those. Seriously, I'll wait. Ok, I won't wait, but really, you need to go back and do them.

Ok. Now, you've got your profile. Perhaps you got a an email from a girl afterwards. If so, great! Hopefully this will give you some confidence. If you didn't get any emails from girls, then don't sweat it. And if you get emails from guys, well, then, that's the internet for ya. Anyway, regardless of what happened, you may be asking: What next??

Enter the Upkeep Loop.

The Upkeep Loop, or the Loop, is just a basic pattern you should use every day to work towards getting dates. It's a daily ritual. you might do it in the morning before work, or right after work, or right before bed. But you need to do it every day. The great thing about the Loop is that even if you're getting no action, the loop helps you work towards improving the situation. And the loop is easy. Here's a basic rundown of it:

• Log into the dating site.
• Reply to anyone who emailed you. These emails are in all sorts of states of progression (or landing pattern), as seen below.
  
• Scan the site for 15 to 20 minutes for girls to approach via email. Most sites have "new to the site" sections, "recommendations" sections, and even "who's looking at your profile" sections (OKcupid.com calls this Stalkers, and I highly recommend it)
• Approach (via email) any potential leads you see. Sometimes it's a girl who catches your eye, sometimes it's a girl who was checking your profile out, and other times it's just a comment you see on a profile that begs for an email. Don't be afraid to email girls who aren't even your type. I just cold-email 2 to 4 girls a night; sometimes more. I use the term approach to differentiate girls you've never contacted from existing, ongoing email conversations.
• Check out your own profile. Read it, and make changes where you see mistakes (you'll see them all the time), or more importantly, opportunities to make your profile more funny or more enticing. Sometimes it's just a single line. Also study and re-evaluate your photos. Switch the default if you have other really great photos.
  

That's it. That's the Loop. And it's a huge key to success. Why? because unless they have absolutely all the free time in the world, there's no Don Juan out there who can go real-life cruising for girls seven days a week. Ok, there are, and we'll deal with that later. But there's an old saying that goes something like this: Study any one thing for just an hour a day, and in a year, your peers will consider you an expert on that one thing. It doesn't take that many hours a day to become an expert. The same goes for girls. And the Loop is the easiest way to do this, because you can do it from home, on your own schedule, and without other social pressures. By doing this every day, you're doing upkeep on your social life that will lead towards dates.

Wait, how will it lead towards dates?

Well, let me tell you. There's a bigger "master plan" associated with the Loop. The Loop is actually just the upkeep phase. The phase you do no matter what. The bigger picture is more like a flight pattern at the airport. You're trying to take all these planes flying around in the air and one by one lead them towards the runway, and fuck them. Er, I mean, land them. You know, on the runway. Or a bed. Ok, just becuase of that line, and for lack of a better term, I'm going to call this the Landing Pattern:

The Landing Pattern consists of:

1. Girls you've never met and will approach. Who knows if you get a response.
   
2. Girls you approached or approached you. One or two emails in.
   
3. Girls who are flirting with you. You're three or four emails in.
   
4. Girls who you're actively trying to schedule a real-life date with. This is trickier than is seems and quite often they are still sizing you up while doing this part.
   
5. Girls you've met in real life. First and second dates, mostly.
   
6. Girls you've landed. Nuff said. Actually, I joked earlier that it's nailing them, but what this step really is is that you've hooked them and are headed towards being a permanent addition to your life, if you wish (A friend, girlfriend, friend-with-benefits, bootycall, whatever you want it to be)
   

I numbered this list because it is a process, and on any given day, I expect you to have girls in various steps of that list, and you're trying to advance them through that list. Girls start as strangers at position 1 and hopefully end up in position 6 (No, I'm not going to make the obvious joke).

However, girls will fall off this list and drop contact with you. It can happen at any point, and it does happen, all the time, even to the best of us. Two things to make of that. One, don't sweat it, it's no big deal, there's a million possible reasons why. Two, girls dropping contact is why we do the loop every night and try to get approaches out all the time: Even with dropouts the more you start at the top of the list, the more you'll get to the bottom of the list. You could try to run one girl through the landing pattern at a time, but it's a lot slower that way.

And if you think it's impossible for a guy like you to ever have that many "planes in the air", then you simply haven't been doing the Loop. That's what the Loop does. It gets as many coals in the fire going as possible so when one burns out you're still hot. Okay, that last sentence sounded a bit cheesy, but you get the picture. The Loop is a key, because as easy as this blog may make it sound, there's no technique out there that will provide a constant steam of opportunities without upkeep.

Get in the habit of doing the Loop every day. Even if you're not getting any replies, you need to email girls, edit your profile, switch out photos, etc. It will lead somewhere.

Now, I recommend you read perhaps the most important piece of advice I can give you about meeting girls: Social Standing. I'll then give you some practical advice on sending out those approach emails.